dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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