i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
