You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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