playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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