We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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