My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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