SEEEEXXX PLEASE
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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