Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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