belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
