so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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