once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
foreskin is a definite game changer
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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