He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize