One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
