we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
