Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
