My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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