ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
