i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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