I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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