If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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