Don't you send me to vm
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
