my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
