Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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