Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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