How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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