I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I love you. Go after that dick
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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