you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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