Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Randomize
