my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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