and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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