PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
