I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
