Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
