I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize