Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just had sex on a roof
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
