just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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