and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
