dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
