i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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