Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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