you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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