What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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