Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
