Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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