If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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