Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
