Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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