what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
