That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
