So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
