i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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