they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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