Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
