so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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