i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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