She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize