Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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