If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
